Not Entirely Sure
Hello, hello.
A good friend of mine urged me to update this website that
people occasionally visit to see what I’m up to. That’s very nice of you all.
Thank you. And thank you to my good friend for telling me to do this. I
appreciate that.
Alrighty, here’s what’s up: (THERE ARE SO MANY EXCITING EVENTS HAPPENING.)
-Concerts
I'm going to a Twenty-One Pilots concert this summer. Oh my gosh I'm hyped. Addi and my good friend (the one who urged me to update this website) and I are going to the concert, and then my good friend and I are going to a week long honors academy at OC. I wasn't really planning on keeping this good friend anonymous, but I did at the beginning so I decided to stick with it. Plus I don't really have my good friend's permission to use them in this post anyway. As a wise teacher once told me, "Build a bridge and get over it."
I'm going to a Twenty-One Pilots concert this summer. Oh my gosh I'm hyped. Addi and my good friend (the one who urged me to update this website) and I are going to the concert, and then my good friend and I are going to a week long honors academy at OC. I wasn't really planning on keeping this good friend anonymous, but I did at the beginning so I decided to stick with it. Plus I don't really have my good friend's permission to use them in this post anyway. As a wise teacher once told me, "Build a bridge and get over it."
-College visits
Next, (why did my font change???) we've been going to several colleges for Addi. Actually I've only been to two. But we went to Chicago. We went to North Park University and then went to Michigan for a couple days to see our cousins. Both places were very cold, but very exciting. It was awesome to see Chicago and the college, and it was super awesome to see the cousins, who we don't get to see very often.
Alright now slooowww doooowwwn.
I feel like I was just worrying about where I'd go to school my Sophomore year, getting my classes in and ordering my fifty thousand books for Veritas Press, and now I have Junior year to worry about. Where do I go now? We're looking into Trinity, and of course there is still Veritas Press, which I could do again, and honestly I don't know what to do. Veritas is giving me more of a literary education - it's less memorizing facts, more understanding concepts, and TONS more reading. It's stressful sometimes, (what isn't?) but very, very interesting. Honestly I'm loving it. It has given me such a huge appreciation for books I never would have read, which is something most schools don't do. It's way less traditional, and I'm going to actually remember this information. I'm not going to go out into the world and not remember anything I've learned. What's the point of learning anyway if you'll forget it in a year anyway? That's stupid. Learning should be fun, but you have to be able to remember the things you learn or it's pointless and a waste of time.
However, I haven't seen people. Seriously, I feel like I haven't seen any of my friends in ages. A couple minutes at a concert, half an hour at lunch a couple times, an hour at a poetry slam - That is not enough tiiimee.
Anyway, it feels like I'm always going - do another class, read another hundred pages, study another essay, take another chemistry test, eat, go to bed, watch another lecture, go go go go go.
I don't take enough time to slow down, to write, to read for fun, to sleep in, to see friends, to write letters - all things that are important to me! But I'm so caught up in thinking about grades, reading the next book, trying to catch up, trying not to fall behind. It's so interesting how important it is to GO in today's culture. Often, I go so fast I don't even think about the consequences - sure I'll get up at 5:00 this morning to complete my homework so I'm not behind, even if I'm exhausted. I need to GO, I need to do this, this must be finished. Getting stuff done on time, turning things in before the deadline, getting places on time are all huge priorities in the world today. I'm not saying that being punctual is bad, not at all. It starts to get bad when a person is obsessed with being punctual, and beat themselves up if they're a minute late. It's bad if punctuality is consuming your life and utterly stressing you out. It's good to be on time. People appreciate that. But it's also good to make sure that you know it's alright to be late sometimes. As important as it is to get things done on time, some things are more important. It's hard to realize that sometimes - what could be more important than good grades? But the truth is, grades are ridiculous, and they cause way more stress and anxiety than they're worth.
So you fail a test. So you miss a deadline. So you don't get a scholarship.
Great. Whatever. (Of course try as hard as you can, do your best, but sometimes people expect more than your best, so don't worry about it. You can't do better than your best, don't get concerned with what other people think or say about your level on success. I'm not saying you just shouldn't try, but don't beat yourself up for not getting an A, because priorities these days are all messed up.)
What's your goal? Good grades? (What is 'good'?) A scholarship? A good college? More good grades? Money? A spouse? Kids? A job?
Heaven?
That's mine. Well I think it is. But it's so so easy to lose sight of here on earth, because my death not right in front of me. It's not promoted. It's not talked about. It doesn't have an Instagram or a Twitter or a website. It's not in the next twenty years of my life.
But isn't it? Of course it could be - in fact, it might be in the next five minutes of my life.
Now those other goals - are those going to affect my entry to heaven? Let's see, if I get bad grades - I'll still make it. No scholarship? Still make it. A bad college? As long as I don't let bad people influence me - I'll make it. No money, no spouse, no kids, no job - who cares?
I want everyone to know that if you don't 'succeed' here on earth, that doesn't make you a failure. Success isn't measured properly on earth, not the way our culture portrays it.
Figure out what your goal is. Seriously think about it. And choose to strive to that goal - make that what's important in your life. It's okay if you lose sight of it, or if you fall short one day. Just get up, keep striving. Artists don't stop painting if a bird doesn't look like a bird. Musicians don't destroy their pianos if they play the wrong key. Actors don't stop acting if they miss a line. Dancers don't burn their ballet shoes if they realize their arms aren't straight. Basketball players don't stop playing if they miss one shot. Just be certain that you don't miss the ultimate shot. Keep your motives clear. Keep your goal ahead, and keep on pushing toward it. Don't let anyone tell you you're a failure because you don't have the same dream or goal as them. Don't give up on yourself, because the only One who really matters has got your back and is there to help you through it.
I am too.
Sorry, just thinking out loud. Hopefully it'll help some of you out.
Have a good day, stay positive, reach for your goal.
Thanks for reading.
-Holly Beth
Next, (why did my font change???) we've been going to several colleges for Addi. Actually I've only been to two. But we went to Chicago. We went to North Park University and then went to Michigan for a couple days to see our cousins. Both places were very cold, but very exciting. It was awesome to see Chicago and the college, and it was super awesome to see the cousins, who we don't get to see very often.
Alright now slooowww doooowwwn.
I feel like I was just worrying about where I'd go to school my Sophomore year, getting my classes in and ordering my fifty thousand books for Veritas Press, and now I have Junior year to worry about. Where do I go now? We're looking into Trinity, and of course there is still Veritas Press, which I could do again, and honestly I don't know what to do. Veritas is giving me more of a literary education - it's less memorizing facts, more understanding concepts, and TONS more reading. It's stressful sometimes, (what isn't?) but very, very interesting. Honestly I'm loving it. It has given me such a huge appreciation for books I never would have read, which is something most schools don't do. It's way less traditional, and I'm going to actually remember this information. I'm not going to go out into the world and not remember anything I've learned. What's the point of learning anyway if you'll forget it in a year anyway? That's stupid. Learning should be fun, but you have to be able to remember the things you learn or it's pointless and a waste of time.
However, I haven't seen people. Seriously, I feel like I haven't seen any of my friends in ages. A couple minutes at a concert, half an hour at lunch a couple times, an hour at a poetry slam - That is not enough tiiimee.
Anyway, it feels like I'm always going - do another class, read another hundred pages, study another essay, take another chemistry test, eat, go to bed, watch another lecture, go go go go go.
I don't take enough time to slow down, to write, to read for fun, to sleep in, to see friends, to write letters - all things that are important to me! But I'm so caught up in thinking about grades, reading the next book, trying to catch up, trying not to fall behind. It's so interesting how important it is to GO in today's culture. Often, I go so fast I don't even think about the consequences - sure I'll get up at 5:00 this morning to complete my homework so I'm not behind, even if I'm exhausted. I need to GO, I need to do this, this must be finished. Getting stuff done on time, turning things in before the deadline, getting places on time are all huge priorities in the world today. I'm not saying that being punctual is bad, not at all. It starts to get bad when a person is obsessed with being punctual, and beat themselves up if they're a minute late. It's bad if punctuality is consuming your life and utterly stressing you out. It's good to be on time. People appreciate that. But it's also good to make sure that you know it's alright to be late sometimes. As important as it is to get things done on time, some things are more important. It's hard to realize that sometimes - what could be more important than good grades? But the truth is, grades are ridiculous, and they cause way more stress and anxiety than they're worth.
So you fail a test. So you miss a deadline. So you don't get a scholarship.
Great. Whatever. (Of course try as hard as you can, do your best, but sometimes people expect more than your best, so don't worry about it. You can't do better than your best, don't get concerned with what other people think or say about your level on success. I'm not saying you just shouldn't try, but don't beat yourself up for not getting an A, because priorities these days are all messed up.)
What's your goal? Good grades? (What is 'good'?) A scholarship? A good college? More good grades? Money? A spouse? Kids? A job?
Heaven?
That's mine. Well I think it is. But it's so so easy to lose sight of here on earth, because my death not right in front of me. It's not promoted. It's not talked about. It doesn't have an Instagram or a Twitter or a website. It's not in the next twenty years of my life.
But isn't it? Of course it could be - in fact, it might be in the next five minutes of my life.
Now those other goals - are those going to affect my entry to heaven? Let's see, if I get bad grades - I'll still make it. No scholarship? Still make it. A bad college? As long as I don't let bad people influence me - I'll make it. No money, no spouse, no kids, no job - who cares?
I want everyone to know that if you don't 'succeed' here on earth, that doesn't make you a failure. Success isn't measured properly on earth, not the way our culture portrays it.
Figure out what your goal is. Seriously think about it. And choose to strive to that goal - make that what's important in your life. It's okay if you lose sight of it, or if you fall short one day. Just get up, keep striving. Artists don't stop painting if a bird doesn't look like a bird. Musicians don't destroy their pianos if they play the wrong key. Actors don't stop acting if they miss a line. Dancers don't burn their ballet shoes if they realize their arms aren't straight. Basketball players don't stop playing if they miss one shot. Just be certain that you don't miss the ultimate shot. Keep your motives clear. Keep your goal ahead, and keep on pushing toward it. Don't let anyone tell you you're a failure because you don't have the same dream or goal as them. Don't give up on yourself, because the only One who really matters has got your back and is there to help you through it.
I am too.
Sorry, just thinking out loud. Hopefully it'll help some of you out.
Have a good day, stay positive, reach for your goal.
Thanks for reading.
-Holly Beth
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